How to get your crush to like you
Carrillo student yearning longingly for what this couple has(Sophia Nagra/The Puma Prensa)
By Sophia Nagra, A&E editor
The holiday season is still lingering with the bittersweet scent of love that Valentine’s brings. For some, the holiday is a fake, consumerist scheme that tears unsuspecting couples apart under the pretense that one must spoil their significant other with gifts and sweets in order to make them feel loved. For others, it is a sweet celebration of love that brings people closer together, and allows them to take a moment to appreciate the relationships they have formed. I’m willing to guess that you thought of the first person as a cold, lonely, single person whose misery is rooted in jealousy, and the second as a lovesick girlfriend. The truth is, these qualities do not have to be mutually exclusive. The choice to be miserable is entirely up to you. But the question is, will you be miserable and single or miserable and taken? Can you be happy and single, or only happy and taken? If you’re finding yourself gravitating to the latter, you’re in luck.
It seems dauntingly complicated, but the truth is, to get your crush to like you, you only have to do one thing. I know that’s not what you want to hear. So, I will entertain you with what I had thought was necessary to accomplish such a feat for the majority of my life:
A complete rebrand — new hair, makeup, nails, clothes, shoes, skincare, everything
A signature, expensive scent
Mutuals/ connections
A study of them and their personality, humor, interests, type, efforts to assimilate with them
But, even after all of this, mine and so many others’ luck ran dry. Was it that we weren’t trying hard enough, or just that we weren’t their type? Were we not funny enough, smart enough, pretty enough, friendly enough? Are we enough? Enough. What are we doing? Why are we changing everything about ourselves, bending over backwards, altering the very essence of who we are as people-- just to get one person to be as infatuated with us as we are them? I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s what you need to hear.
You could take a $100,000 love potion, and still not be certain it’d work. There’s a reason why that was the one of the few things the genie couldn’t grant. It’s not because you don’t deserve it, but because you cannot physically change someone else’s emotions and inner workings. You can get close, you can miraculously find your own efforts aligning with their intrinsic desires, but you can never assure it. The only thing you can be sure of is your own emotions. It may seem like they are far too big for even you to deal with, but the truth is, you are the only person that has ever been there for you 100% of the time. You will get through this, just like you have for every other struggle that has come your way.
But, don’t think I would drop you off a cliff like that and call it good. I promise what I’m about to say can be truly helpful, as long as you take the time to believe in that sentiment yourself.
The one thing that you have to do to get your crush to like you? It’s liking yourself, first. I know this sounds painfully cliche, excruciating, and frustrating. But, hear me out. If you don’t like yourself, who’s to say that anyone else ever could? What compelling argument could you possibly pose that you yourself could not even consider? This doesn’t mean that you are not capable or deserving of love, and never will be, but rather that you have to put yourself together before expecting someone else to do so for you. This lack of confidence also inherently affects your self-confidence, and your overall ability to converse with the person you hold on such a high pedestal. It’s inevitable.
But, let’s say that even despite your own insecurities, you find someone — because I know this can be the case. How will you ever know if they are treating you as well as you deserve? How will you have the confidence to put your foot down and say, with full assertiveness, that you deserve more?
I know it seems harsh, but trust me, this simple shift in mindset will change your life.